Nagusame Part 5

(To read Part 1, click here.)

(To read Part 2, click here.)

(To read Part 3, click here.)

(To read Part 4, click here.)

They held each other for a long time, and then Kai drew back. Taking Marin's hand in his, he led her out of his room to a back door, which opened to a small covered deck with some mats. He sat down on one of them, and when she joined him, he put his arm around her.

It felt good to be close to him while looking at his strangely beautiful garden. “I never want to cry when I’m around you.”

“I’m not the reason you’re sad, Mari,” Kai said, and he rubbed his cheek against her hair. “That’s why I asked you to think about me.”

He was right, she realized, because she had thought about him all day instead of Beau. “Did you think about me a little, too?”

“You, and being with you like this, all day.” He rubbed his hand over the back of her neck. “It was hard to walk away in the hall. I wanted to keep holding you.”

“I told my parents I wouldn’t be home for dinner tonight,” Marin said, “so I can stay longer this time, if you want.”

“I do. I will cook for you later.” Kai smiled a little at the startled look she gave him. “It will be better than the tea.”

“I don’t know any boys who can cook. My brother can’t even microwave popcorn without burning it.” She glanced back at the door to his bedroom. “Can I ask you something?” When he nodded, she took a deep breath and asked, “Are we going to have sex?”

“I don’t know. I want to comfort you however I can, and have you comfort me.” Kai clasped her hand. “Does it matter how we do that?”

“No.” She didn’t feel as embarrassed as she had expected; instead she felt almost protective of him. “But . . . if I asked you to just sit and talk with me today, with no more touching or kissing or anything, would you be okay with that?”

“Of course, I would,” he said, letting go of her hand and moving back a little. “You never have to do anything with me, Mari. Nagusame is about giving, not taking. Why do you want to know what might happen between us?”

“The way we are together makes me think that we should get some protection. In case we do.” She pressed her palm against her stomach. “Just so we don’t end up becoming the teen parents of a nagusame baby.”

“I can protect you.” Kai covered her hand with his. “If we make that choice, I will.”

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured. It’s just that I’ve already done things with you I never thought I would have,” she admitted. “You make me feel more than comforted. When I’m with you I don’t think about anything else.”

“It’s the same for me.” He rubbed her hand and his against her belly. “Although now I think I’ll dream a little of what our child would look like.”

“You with red hair and freckles.” Marin leaned against him, and sighed as he put his arm around her. She felt comfortable but drowsy, as if she might doze off. “Or me with dark eyes and golden skin.”

Kai tucked her head against his neck, and held her as the afternoon sunlight flickered over them from behind the clouds. At some point he lifted her up and carried her inside, and lay with her on his bed. Marin smothered a yawn and apologized, but he murmured for her to go back to sleep. When she opened her eyes it was dark, and Kai was sitting beside the bed watching her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was that sleepy,” she said, pushing herself upright. “You should have woken me up.”

“I liked holding you while you slept.” He helped her to her feet, and took her out to the back room where he had set out rice, soup, a mixed vegetable dish and some grilled fish. “I left you only to make dinner.”

“It smells delicious.” Marin sat down, and gingerly picked up the chopsticks he had put next to her plate. “Can you show me how to use these?”

The meal tasted as good as it smelled, and after some practice she was able to use the chopsticks without dropping everything before it reached her mouth. Kai told her about how clumsy he’d been after coming to America and discovering he had to use forks and knives in restaurants. After they finished she insisted on washing the dishes, and he stood beside her to dry them.

“I’ll have to cook for you sometime, too,” Marin said as she handed him the last bowl. “My mom taught me to make the best fried chicken in the world.”

“I’d like that.” Kai dried the bowl, put it away and then used his towel to dry her hands. When she looked up and saw him frowning he pulled her arms around his waist. “I don’t want to take you home. I want to sleep with you in my arms.”

“Me, too.” She rested her cheek against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. “I wish I was better at lying to my parents.”

“I like how honest you are,” Kai told her, and stroked her curls with his hand.

“There's nothing worth lying about, really.” Marin felt his hand go still. “Is there?”

“For you, no. It’s getting late.” He drew back and didn’t look at her. “I’ll take you home now.”